How two American expats found home in Vietnam

I met Cindy Cutler and her husband, Craig Haines, in 2020 during a trip to Hue. At the time, they were renting a house from a friend of mine. They had been living in Vietnam for nearly a year, though they had been frequent visitors to the country since the 1990s.

The couple is in their late 60s; one formerly worked in local government, while the other was a business executive. Since retiring a few years before, they have traveled widely to explore different cultures and spend time together.

As we conversed, we gradually grew closer and developed a mutual understanding. We spoke openly about various topics, such as Vietnamese culture, history, and language. 

From sidewalk teas to village shrines

They were impressed by the ancient citadels of Hue, the gentle and unhurried way the locals speak, and the city's leisurely pace of life. 

They were also captivated by the local cuisine - particularly bún bò Huế (Hue-style beef noodle soup) and cơm hến (rice with tiny clams), as well as the morning culture of enjoying coffee and iced tea. 

To them, the ritual of sitting on the sidewalk with friends over coffee and iced tea embodies a sense of friendliness, openness, and genuine warmth that is hard to find elsewhere in the world. 

Regarding costs, they found Vietnam to be the most affordable country they had ever visited, with prices just 20% of those in the US, and noted that Hue is one of the most affordable cities in the country.

A few months later, we had the opportunity to travel to Northern Vietnam together to attend the wedding of a mutual friend. This was yet another new experience for Cindy and Craig. 

The wedding featured traditional Northern customs, complete with all time-honored rituals. During the event, I was asked to act as an interpreter whenever they wanted to converse with the bride and groom's relatives or other guests. 

Sometimes, the older ladies and elders would share stories about traditions of the past, and I would need a moment to fully grasp what they were saying. Fortunately, everything went smoothly.

Beyond attending the wedding, we also took walks around the area. Our two American guests enjoyed photographing the traditional Northern-style houses with tiled roofs. 

Temples and shrines, sites dedicated to tutelary deities or historical figures who rendered great service to the nation, were also major attractions. I noticed their focused, reverent demeanor at these locations. They truly respected local customs. 

Whenever we visited a shrine, Cindy would often speak with the caretaker to ask for permission to take photos and to learn more about its history such as when it was built, who was enshrined there, and what contributions that figure had made to the country or the local community. 

While I am not well-versed in figures of purely local significance, I am knowledgeable about national heroes such as the Tran Dynasty generals who fought against the Mongol-Yuan invaders and could share those stories with them. 

Both of them seemed to sense that the local culture was something profound, a blend of traditions accumulated over millennia and shaped by countless historical upheavals. Given such depth, it is not something that can be fully understood in a short time.

Sometimes, we would also talk about America. Craig described the U.S. as a land of promise, home to great, innovative minds - individuals who dared to dream, to act, to venture forth, and to confront the challenges of nature. That spirit is what built the mighty nation over the years. 

However, at the moment, cracks and divisions are appearing in American society, perhaps due to the absence of something, such as the historical, cultural, and spiritual depth found in the Vietnamese people. He couldn't quite put his finger on exactly what that missing element was.

Living history and lasting wisdom

After the wedding in the North, we all went our separate ways. A few months later, the couple visited Ho Chi Minh City, and I took them to the Cu Chi Tunnels. 

I invited my father along for the trip, as he was far more knowledgeable than I was about weaponry and artillery. He had served in the Northern Border War from 1979 to 1983. I acted as an interpreter for him and my two new friends. 

Upon learning that my father was a veteran, Craig asked many questions about history, such as what life was like back then, how they balanced combat with production, and whether they felt fear when facing an adversary many times stronger than Vietnam. 

After touring the site and experiencing the tunnels firsthand, we sat down to eat some cassava. As both of them were food enthusiasts and we were all quite tired, the cassava dipped in sesame salt tasted truly delicious.

Before leaving Ho Chi Minh City, I took both of them to visit several other locations and introduced them to various locals, including Duong Ngoc Nam - an antique collector based in the former District 12. 

The guests were particularly impressed by ceramic vases linked to historical events. Moreover, each artifact served as a lesson on character and conduct - wisdom that previous generations wished to pass down to those who followed.

In the end, Cindy and Craig thanked me for my enthusiastic assistance. In their view, Vietnam possesses not only a rich culinary heritage and a spirit of hospitality but also a vast, multi-layered cultural legacy. 

Perhaps that is why, despite facing tumultuous periods throughout history, the nation has never been brought down by any storm or upheaval.

This story is part of our special report on Vietnam as an appealing retirement destination, exploring the lifestyle, culture, and cost of living for expats.

Van Phong is the World Economy Lead Editor for an international newspaper based in Ho Chi Minh City, and the former International Lead Editor at BNC NOW (FBNC).